Every year around my birthday, I find myself reflecting on the past year. I then of course, create some sort of post that states what I have learned and found out about myself in those 365 days. This is that post. 

Year 23 was a pretty major one for me. I had a lot of events occur that I knew I would be able to pull lessons from. Maybe not in the exact moments they were happening, but later. The meaning usually comes after “the happening” and I am glad that I held on to that. 

Earlier on in my twenties, I was very focused on finding out who I was as a person. I was very strong in my opinion that that had to be done independently. I wanted to know that I was and would be OK on my own. I wanted to know that I could live alone. I wanted to know that I could carry that heavy box up the stairs by myself. I wanted to know that I could build the coffee table – ALONE. I didn’t want my lifestyle to be changed just by other people’s opinions. 

I still believe it is very important to know who you are without someone telling you who you are. However, I believe I was missing a big part of this equation. 

When things started to go awry this year…I didn’t want to have to deal with things alone. I really learned that it is OK to lean on people when you need them. I didn’t have to be self-reliant 24/7 or when something bad happened. Because, when you’re going through something it’s nice to know someone is there. People are like walls…sometimes you lean on them and sometimes it’s good just knowing that they’re there. It’s like when you’re trying to learn how to do a handstand for the first time and you practice using the wall. 

It doesn’t make you any less to need someone or something. 

When I got laid off this past year, I was so grateful to have my boyfriend to just be in my presence because it was so hard for me to sit still and just take it day by day. 

When I got kidney stones, my sister was the one to take me to the ER. I stayed with my parents and let them take care of me for a week. 

Sometimes you just need a darn hug and unfortunately, you can’t reallllllly hug yourself. 

This is what I would say to my 22 or 23 year old self…

Some things are just not as fun doing alone. 

Being alone does not actually = strength. 

Cheers to 24. I’m doing this year with the best people by my side. ♡